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For background on this series, head over to the welcome letter or find the entire series on the roots section of my page.
A few disclaimers before we wander into the depths…
First, we are exploring a more layered relationship than could ever be fully examined in 1 letter nor in 1 week. Remember, to feel into what arises and follow the sparks. Second, there are very real traumas and abuse in many peoples lives in connection to the body, some massively debilitating and some subtle events compounding over time we may not even have brought into our own awareness yet. I encourage everyone to be gentle with themselves and seek support through these contemplations as you explore further. Lastly, the following is heavily influenced by my own experience and specifically as a woman in today’s world. While likely resonating deeper with women and specifically those who feel this theme is extra alive for them, I also believe there to be whispers meant for anyone who receives this. As always, feel free to pass if not resonating with you today, however, if it does stir something in you, I ask you to give it proper care and attention. This is one of those magical doors that can unlock a deeper connection with that which is much greater than us.
Developing or continuing to nurture a more loving, a more intimate relationship with the physical being can become a playground of this human experience. It can spark a whole new flavor of clarity, of freedom, of connection.
Settling deeper in and familiarizing yourself with your own body can allow for ….
heightened sensations when seeing, sensing, feeling, tasting the world around us
a more profound connection to our intuition and “gut feelings”
identifying and releasing pain or stuck emotions that we aren’t going to solve with the mind, but rather can move through the physical being
a greater love and awe for all bodies through loving our own more fully
showing up and carrying yourself more confidently
This all sounds delightful and it can be… AND for many, this relationship with our bodies has a long history, molded by our environments and experiences, and can feel complex which we will get into momentarily. Or you simply have been taught to hold back, to stifle the full receiving of the body and its sensations out of politeness or comfort.
The mindfulness practice and perspectives that we journeyed into last week initially shined a massive spotlight on the relationship that I had with my own body - subconscious thought loops, emotions behind attempted control of and harsh self criticism of the physical body subtly existing in and influencing my day to day. This, amongst other things, then led to years and years of what I have come to speak to as re-inhabiting my sacred vessel…
If you have, knowingly or unknowingly, struggled with body image or control in any way, I hope this is a reminder that you are not alone and an invitation to peek into what a new relationship may look like… it is never too late. If this has not been a challenge for you, then this can still be an exciting invitation to step even further into a sacred relationship available within you - one that can lead to a profound and intoxicating opportunity for connecting deeper with this life itself. Perhaps giving yourself permission to let go and do so at new heights.
When I refer to re-inhabiting, that is the closest vocabulary I have to what the journey of relating differently and more intimately to the vessel feels like…
Re-inhabiting through a celebration of the body, meeting each and every one of her parts with fresh eyes, eventually reclaiming each and every cell as a miracle… seeing, accepting, and loving all of her needs and desires. Unclenching and settling in, opening the arms and fully receiving. Allowing the societal and social lens of what others deem to be an ideal way to be to fall away… And in this new spaciousness, greet her. Say hello, give gratitude, apologize, heal, explore new ways of interacting with her… Re-inhabiting by bringing ritual and sacredness back into this relationship… and ultimately bringing love in if it has gone missing or turn up the volume if it has been low.
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For a bit we will dive into some background for those who know this plays a role in their lives personally before circling back to ways all of us can tune into this vessel in greater depths. My hope is to ignite another being that relates to the shackles that they may or may not feel are binding them.
Because for many, this is what has occurred... a dis-inhabiting of our bodies, on varying levels. My heart shattered in revealing how I was speaking to and treating this earthly vessel and continues to shatter over and over by how I see folks, especially women, of all ages, backgrounds, life experiences, those with extreme love and awareness at such war with their beautiful magnificent beings. That is what each and every one of you are, a magnificent being, just as you are, and in all phases of what that may look like.
This dis-inhabiting may have taken on varying forms for different people and continues to do so… such as being accepted by certain groups or being bullied by others for your appearance leading to certain protective habits, or trauma or even unassuming experiences such as unwanted attention in relation to the body leading to shame and fear, or one comment made by one person one day that forever altered how you saw yourself, or pain or discomfort in the body leading to frustration, or general confusion around what has deemed to be appropriate or polite to speak about in conflict with curiosities you have around your body, or simply thinking something is wrong with you for not looking a certain way. The body is the tangible component of the body, mind and spirit trio and therefore easily accessible to utilize as a way to act out emotions, to have a sense of control, to block off from the world, to make things easier in the moment. Some of these nudges that have led to the dis-inhabiting are subtly floating under the surface and others perhaps fully trapping us in a prison of our own minds. A prison of expectations, of self judgement, of restriction or overindulgence, of critical self talk, of feeling alone… gently making itself known in how we exercise, eat, dress, relate to intimacy.
This occupied mind can be consumed by forcing and striding towards certain ideals… young, smooth, thin, small, strong but not too strong, pretty but not too pretty (queue vibes from America Ferrera’s iconic barbie speech). Even if you have an immensely loving relationship to self, it is hard to avoid in the current society we live in. Making harmful comments (that have come to seem normal) to ourselves, to others, seeing the continuation of these cycles amongst close loving friends, within families, passed on to the next generations as acceptable ways of speaking about bodies. It is heartbreaking. And it is shackling people, handcuffing them to a dungeon of self judgement, a dungeon of smallness.
I say all of this with such passion and fire to make a point. Yes, this is another shift that requires activation and massive transformation at a much greater societal level, however there is also an opportunity for more immediate change, more immediate freedom within the self.
Take a moment with me right now… take a deep breathe, maybe closing the eyes. Place your hands on yourself, perhaps in a loose hug, or one hand on your heart and one on the belly. Now say aloud slowly… I love you body. Thank you body. I love you body. Thank you body. I love you exactly as you are in this moment. Thank you, I love you.
If this is easy breezy for you, amazing, keep shining, keep loving yourself deeply, pass on this energy to those around you!
If this is hard for you, I am not surprised and please don’t be hard on yourself, the odds have been stacked against us. Take care of yourself today. If something has come up in this simple exercise, this is a door. You can do it, you can walk through it. I am here. I can guarantee you are not alone.
I deeply believe it is possible to do this, to re-inhabit our vessels or to celebrate and embody them more fully, to move from maybe a hatred that you don’t even recognize is running command in your head, or from a deep craving for nourishment and care masked by self sabotage… to a deep reverence and awe of this body, to an awe of all bodies, to a freeing curiosity of embodiment, of pleasure, of breathing more deeply, of dancing wildly, and standing taller as you get to walk this earth.
Not only is it possible but it is needed, it is being called to us from the depths of mama earth, from the echoes of all of our ancestors that came before us, that have paved the way for us to have the ability, the time, the comfort, the freedom in this point in time to heal these wounds. Wow what a gift.
Close your eyes. Imagine a world of bold women unclenching their bellies, exhaling louder, walking with their shoulders and hearts wide open, creative magic and love erupting from the depths of their wombs out through their voices, their work, their relationships, their smiles. Unafraid to love themselves fully, to be seen fully just as they are. Unafraid to indulge in self nourishment, in pleasure. It gives me the chills.
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So how do we burn through the shackles? How do we spread our wings and escape the cages?
How do we even begin to explore the territory of re-inhabiting our body if it feels far away from you personally? Or for those already feeling good in your bodies, how do we build upon that into something magical?
This relationship expresses itself in multiple areas of life - in connection to how we walk into a room, in connection to food, in connection to movement, in connection to sex, in connection to beauty. This is evidence in and of itself how foundational this relationship is, it weaves through our lives constantly. We could have full series on each and every one of these areas so remember that this is just a snapshot, a sprinkling of seeds when considering the entire oasis of your life.
Again, the theme of this foundational roots series is looking at what unravels when we plunge into the essential relationships of our existence. I’m not going to share which foods someone “should” eat or what the “best” exercises are... If thats what you’re waiting for, you are missing the essence here. It is about rewiring (or building upon) the relationship to our vessels, before the actions can begin to follow. When deeper love is cultivated, when deeper curiosity is allowed, you tend to want to nourish the vessel more deeply anyway which cuts through much of the noise. What that looks like may be a different menu or exercise schedule or outcome for everyone….you learn, however, to commune, spirit and vessel, together more deeply.
This earthly experience is the soul’s opportunity to be IN this body. To experience movement, sounds, colors, flavors, scents, pleasure. While building up the muscles of the witness from last week can bring transformational insights into our lives and even into this relationship that we are speaking of now, it can also lead to distancing yourself into only that space of witness consciousness. This may be the path some folks choose, those that choose to remove themselves from the temptations of the world in order to connect to higher realms or operating systems. Another path however is to recognize that awareness of oneness that can be reached through meditation is what always is and will be and thus will be after this physical body no longer lives in this realm. While we are here, somehow connected to these vessels, lets explore what it has to offer if you feel called.
Considerations for exploring this vast territory…
First for those courageous souls interested in initiating a healing relationship with the body…
Take Inventory - Journal - explore the caves and crevices that you have hid in the dark. Each one we give voice to, we are gifting ourselves the opportunity to love a little deeper, to feel a little freer. Set aside quiet alone time, light a candle, get cozy, call in any ancestors or spirit guides to sit and support you as you spend time writing. Each one of these could be something you take and work with in supported environments - in therapy, in safe circles of friends, etc. Sometimes just acknowledging them can shake loose a shackle, other times we need great support. Be gentle with yourselves here. A few starting points….
What is my current relationship to my body? How has this evolved over time? You could even break down your life thus far into age bands and explore key events or emotions during each time frame.
How did your religion influence your perspective towards your body? How was your mother’s or caregiver’s relationship to their bodies? Or maybe a close friend who you spent time with growing up? There are no right or wrong answers. Some of these may reveal supportive experiences and models while others not so supportive.
For women who have at any point in time had a menstrual cycle, what is your memory of your first cycle? Were you supported, shamed, confused, excited? How is your relationship today to this cycle?
…I could go on for pages of prompts and into greater depths that I think are more supportive to activate when you committing to explore this in a safe container. Reach out to me if you are curious to go deeper.
Start small - If you are overwhelmed and unsure where to begin, try a simple 5 minute loving kindness practice to begin growing your capacity for deeper self compassion and care. This looks like sitting quietly, closing the eyes and saying in the mind, “May I be safe, may I be supported, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease.” Or try on a mantra each morning when you look into the mirror - saying aloud - I am open to loving myself deeper. I am open to seeing myself fully just as I am. a miracle, just as I am. I am deserving of endless love.
Bring the exploration into supportive environments - in therapy, in energy healing sessions, sharing in connection with friends whom you have built a safe container with.
Mother yourself - sometimes we get it into our minds that this must be extremely difficult, building a new relationship and uncovering our perfect uniqueness must be immensely hard. I am not saying its easy by any means, but it doesn’t have to be so so scary. You can place a hand on your heart, close your eyes, acknowledge the little you that was harmed or bullied or uncomfortable, and in that moment give her or him what they need in your minds eye - a hug, to be heard, to be safe, to be accepted. Your world may not change over night but you are loosening each shackle.
Next, to build upon the above when it feels right or for some of you to jump into right now that are craving it….
Full body gratitude and self massage - maybe you start fully clothed and simply rub your hands together to activate healing loving energy and then place your hands on each body part beginning with the feet. You can say a gentle prayer or thank you as you move up the body. If you feel called, you can build up to utilizing an oil and doing this partially or fully naked. Perhaps right when you get out of the shower, lighting a candle and playing some gentle music. Slowly massaging the oil into each part of the body, thank you body I love you.
Rituals - honoring the cycles. This could be the menstrual cycle for those menstruating, it could be honoring a postpartum body that feels foreign to you, it could be honoring aging (I know, radical right?). When you circle the sun another time and grow a year older, perhaps rather than staring in the mirror criticizing or making jokes about being old, how about resting your hands on the body in immense gratitude for carrying you through the world this long, for allowing you to experience some of your greatest joys. Maybe even bring those joys to mind and thank the body. For new mamas, imagine honoring your magical being that has brought life into this world, nourishing her in whatever way is possible without any judgement, saying goodbye to praise or expectations of getting back to a previous version of the body. It doesn’t mean not to feel good and work towards that, but give yourself a break, try on celebrating rather than allowing the societal expectations to seep into self criticism. You are a life bearer, a queen, embrace it. Entering menopause or in post menopause, have a party, celebrate with friends the entrance into the wise crone phase, im serious! This role is a mystical beautiful phase essential for this earth... Releasing your wisdom and whispers to those who come after you. If you have a daughter, perhaps honoring the start of her period. Create an altar with flowers and candles and mark the right of passage with intention, with joy.
Practice listening to your intuition - When you have an upcoming decision (it can be something super minor), actively close the eyes and imagine dropping from the head down into the heart or even deeper into the space of the womb. Ask yourself the question and see what signals your body may share.
Enjoy a mindful tasting experiment - take a piece of yummy chocolate or juicy fruit or anything that you enjoy. First, look at it for a full minute - the color, the texture, look closely. Next smell it for a few moments, take in the full aroma in the present moment without assuming you know the smell. Finally take one slow bite imagining that this is the first time you have ever tasted it. Notice what sensations you feel, get curious.
Free the body of clothing - you may be a naked house dancer already or you may really have to build up to this one over time… Yes, take luxurious baths and bring essential oil into the shower and all that yummy stuff, but also find private space and bask naked in the yard, or walk around the house naked! Free your magical vessel and see how it feels.
It is not a linear path nor a strict recipe for evolving this sacred relationship as the road thus far for each of us varies. What I believe is that there are endless gems to uncover, each which can loosen the shackles more and more. It is not a healing to “fix” these thoughts or habits that we have come to hold, it is a clearing through the muck, a revealing of what is beneath all of that…. a magnificent being. We are literally children of the earth. Made from dust and starlight. Dancing around the planet. We have been told and been modeled many things, we have built up coping mechanisms to transmute what has been thrown our way. This we cannot change. What we can change is rewiring that which is no longer supporting us. We can rewire seemingly loving actions (such as eating healthy, moving the body, etc.) to truly come from a place of LOVE if currently those actions are rooted in something else and perhaps for someone else. We can rewire to slow down and be so fully present for a meal, for a kiss with your lover, for a gaze at the stars…. that it makes a mundane task transform into ecstasy.
Travel with me beyond the external picture of the physical, or rather into the depths of the physical. We have bones, muscular systems, circular, digestive, respiratory systems all hard at work enabling us to breathe, to move our arms and legs, to see and interact with the world around us. This is what we can choose to see, to be in awe of what it allows us to do. We can savor the deliciousness of a warm homemade soup, we can surrender to the bliss of smelling fresh lavender, we can recieve pleasure more freely, we can free our brains from self criticism and have more time to direct our energy towards our passions, our relationships. These are the nuggets that make this exploration worth venturing into.
I leave you with a prayer ~
A P R A Y E R
Thank you body for your magic. Born of dust, dirt, rock and starlight, you are a creative expression of spirit herself.
Thank you body for working so hard every moment of each and every day so that I may experience the world around me.
Thank you to all of the bones that make up the skeletal system for being the foundational structure of this vessel. From each tiny bone in my feet all the way up to the top of my skull, I appreciate you, thank you.
Thank you to each and every muscle for providing the capability to move my beautiful bones. Thank you muscles for allowing me to squeeze my arms around those I love, to draw a smile on my face.
Thank you nervous system, the intelligent messaging pathways that ignite my most basic seeming movements.
Thank you respiratory system, thank you lungs, for drawing fresh oxygen in to nourish my trillions of cells. Thank you for each and every breathe reminding me of the present moment.
Thank you circulatory system and each vessel that creates your masterpiece, thank you for constantly carrying the nutrient rich blood from my heart to fuel the rest of my being.
Thank you digestive and lymphatic systems, cleansing out the toxins while holding on to the nutrients that create the building blocks for my continued growth and health.
I am a miracle made of living systems.
I see the magic that I am.
I see the beauty of all beings, including myself.
Thank you vessel for being the home for my soul.
Thank you body.
I love you I love you I love you.